


Catch Me If You Can

by LScore



Category: One Piece
Genre: F/M, Jealousy, Misunderstandings, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-02
Updated: 2020-02-02
Packaged: 2021-02-18 21:20:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22533373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LScore/pseuds/LScore
Summary: When Sanji opens a new floating restaurant, Nami starts avoiding him instead of taking advantage of their relationship like usual. What in the world could be holding the Cat Burglar back? Sanji's determined to find out.
Relationships: Kaya/Usopp (One Piece), Nami/Vinsmoke Sanji
Kudos: 59





	Catch Me If You Can

**Author's Note:**

> I own no part of One Piece and have no commercial interest in it.

_On thick card stock the colour of fresh cream, delivered by messenger pelican to an unknown tropical island in the south blue._

You are cordially invited to the Grand Opening of the Lovely Heart Floating Restaurant, by special invitation of the executive Chef, Sanji. Please find us docked at XXXX Island in the North Blue, two weeks from the date of this letter.

_Scribbled on the back, in elegant handwriting and surrounded by loads of hearts._

Please come, Nami-san!! I have enclosed my vivre card so you can always find the restaurant. Your beautiful face is payment enough!!!

* * *

Some say the fifth level of Impel Down is the hottest place on earth, but these days, we think the hottest place is the Lovely Heart Floating Restaurant in North Blue. And when we say hot, we mean SMOKING, whew! Ladies and Gents, wait until you get an eye full of the waiters, and the guests. The waiters are a charming, handsome, eclectic bunch who will charm the pants off you (or the panties, for this reporter!). 

But the guests! Oh darlings, the GUESTS! Anyone who is anyone makes a trip out at least once a month to be spotted amongst the glitterati, and they are all kinds of royalty. Very, very rarely sighted Royalty as well, like Princess Viola and Princess Rebecca of Dressarosa, and Princess Shirahoshi of Fisherman's Island. Whispers are, if you come at exactly the right time, the Pirate King might be there too (although this intrepid reporter tried many times to catch him, unsuccessfully, unfortunately). 

His Chef, though is enough of a sight for any one with appreciation for a fine-looking hunk of man meat. Dear readers, be prepared with your fainting couches, because chef Sanji is smoking, and definitely has an eye for the ladies, because boy is he a practiced flirt! And his cooking! Mmm! If his sparkling baby blues and adorable grin don't melt your panties, then his cooking will have you in a puddle. Of course, as the former chef of the Pirate King's crew, you would expect his cooking to be top notch, and darlings, it fulfills those expectations and then some. What a handsome playboy of the sea!

All in all Darlings, the Lovely Heart Floating restaurant is the place to wine, dine, be charmed and be seen. Be sure to check it out soon, because this reporter and fan predicts a smashing success!

* * *

_Click, click_

Nami always appreciated a marble floor under her favourite stilettos. Who needed a boyfriend when your feet announced your arrival? She swept one long, coppery curl that had escaped her carelessly elegant updo back from her face with one elegantly manicured hand, and admired her svelte, fashionably dressed form in the lobby mirrors. Damn, she did look fantastic. And it never hurt that Sanji always appreciated it. After all, if she was going to grace his starred restaurant (she must remember to say congratulations for that when he came by later), she better look the part.

A rude passerby jostled her out of her self admiration, and she frowned, annoyed. It usually didn't take this long to get seated. Sure, the restaurant has gotten busier since it earned its first star, and after that scandalous article appeared, but Sanji almost always made sure she had first dibs on a nice single table when she came in.

She craned her head to get a look at the host, and realized why it was taking her so long to get seated. It wasn't Sanji, who made an attempt to play host at least three out of every four of her visits, or Duval-kun, who Sanji had hired to be his regular Maitre d' when he was busy doing what he loved in the kitchen, but a new fellow, who looked a little overwhelmed digging in his files, while also trying to respond to the many people making demands of him at the same time. Nami felt bad for adding to his worries but nonetheless went up to the host booth and gave her name quietly.

The host, probably worn down to his last nerve, looked through his scrambled files until he found her name, and then his eyes bulged, no doubt at the "Seat Immediately" Sanji would have attached to her reservation. While Nami appreciated the customer service flourish touch, she felt even worse for the poor boy who was now desperately scanning the crowded restaurant floor for an empty table in vain.

"I don't mind a bar seat," she offered, hoping to make his job a bit easier. 

He brightened up. "Really, Miss? There's one available now. Follow me please."

Nami was about to point out that he should mark her reservation as arrived, but then decided against it. She didn't want to embarrass him any more, and it didn't really matter if she'd signed in, because she wasn't charged for these meals, so wouldn't be charged a no-show fee anyways. Besides, he was already making his way across the dining room, and she didn't want to lose him.

"Here you go, Miss." The new Maitre d' waved her to a seat at the bar. Nami stiffened when she saw who was also there. Not the bartender, but Princess Viola of Dressarosa.

Nami didn't have any grudge against the woman, per se. She hadn't even met her when the crew had caused a ruckus on Dressarosa all those years ago. But she'd run into her a few times when she'd visited Sanji's restaurant in the past, and the woman got ruder and ruder with each encounter. Judging by the carefully neutral look on her face, that hadn't changed with this encounter. Still, there was the new Maitre d' with his hopeful and relieved smile, so she smiled graciously in return and took the seat he held out for her.

"Thank you," she smiled at the Maitre D' who bowed again and walked off. She then, reluctantly, turned to the woman beside her. "Hello Princess, good to see you again." She tried, lying through her teeth.

"And you, Nami-san." Viola inclined her head that royal inch just short of insulting. "I see you're here again."

"Of course I want to support an old friend," Nami replied, stung by Viola's implication she didn't belong.

"Of course." Viola repeated dryly. "What are you up to, these days? Still stealing? Or did you finally find a rich husband? That would explain it."

Nami's mouth almost dropped open, but she gritted her teeth and smiled sweetly "Actually, I'm just celebrating the success of my latest book, Maps of the East Blue."

"That's right, Sanji did mention something about your little book when he came by to see me recently."

Insult and jealousy reared their heads. What in the world was Sanji doing visiting a Kingdom in the Grand line when he had a restaurant to run in the North Blue? He'd never bothered to visit her in the East Blue. Sure, she'd been busy with some insane deadlines, but not so busy she couldn't entertain a friend for a few days. And little book, her left butt cheek! Her atlas had made the East Blue so much easier to navigate that it was drastically improving the quality of life for many of the citizens there, since shipping and travel were so much more reliable. The other oceans were competing to get her to do their quarter next.

"What about you? What exactly do princesses do? Drink tea and wave at their people?" As soon as the words came out of her mouth, Nami wanted to take them back. She knew Viola and her family had done a lot of work after being freed from Doflamingo's grasp. Even with Luffy's protection, a Kingdom in the Grand line had its share of attackers.

Before she could apologize, however, Viola snapped back "At least I'm paying for my meal. You're a shameless freeloader who takes far too much advantage of Sanji-kun's kindness! You're not even his girlfriend, just some girl who keeps sponging off him, yet you keep getting jealous and acting entitled like you deserve his affection."

Nami opened her mouth to protest that they were crewmates, and Sanji wouldn't let her pay for her meals, but then she closed it. Viola was right. She didn't have a right to get jealous over him visiting other girls or getting free meals from him. It'd been one thing if they'd still been Nakama, but nowadays, she was just someone who occasionally dropped in for dinner without bringing a bottle of wine at the least.

She got up from the bar. "My appetite is ruined." She didn't want to look at the triumphant look on Viola's face, so she wrapped her coat around her like a shield and a comforter, picked up her bag, and left, without ordering a thing.

* * *

 _Delivered by Pelican on a mountain top in the North Blue, of a scrap of looseleaf paper with a few ink splotches_.

My Dearest Nami-swan,

My most abject apologies that I did not have the time to spare to write to you for a few weeks, my dearest. The restaurant has been extremely busy with cute girls and beautiful ladies since that article came out and I earned my first star. Neh did you read the article? It called me handsome! Do you think I'm handsome, Nami-swan? Are you a little jealous? Don't worry, my heart is entirely for you! 

I'm very sad you missed your last reservation. I hope nothing serious came up and it was just your publishers being demanding. Neh, Nami-swan, give me the word and I'll go beat him up! I look forward to your next visit - please let me know when it will be, or just knock on the side door. My kitchen is always open to you, Nami-swan! 

Come by soon, I miss feeding you. Love,

Your Sanji

* * *

She didn't know why she was here, except for the fact that she was bone weary. It was Tuesday, and she should have been in a bubble bath, enjoying dinner and some wine. Her publisher had scheduled her for a punishing day of meetings about mapping the North Blue with all the various governments and councils who wanted her to map out their area, and she was, not to put too fine a point on it, fed up. Fed up with maps, fed up with councils and leaders, fed up with greed and politics, fed up with everything really. Everyone wanted something for nothing and had an ulterior motive for everything. That’s why she decided to try the side door.

The side door was a tradition in Sanji's restaurants. It was a pain in the butt to find, but Sanji always had a meal waiting for whoever came calling. Most of the time Luffy ended up at that door, not because he was ashamed or anything, but just because he ate a lot and was impatient, and that pot was always full. Nami didn't usually use it, but after her last encounter in Sanji's restaurant, she just wanted to see her friend without any fuss.

It was a nondescript wooden door with one small pothole in front of a tiny lip of deck that you had to sneak by the lookout to get to. Nami, being the cat burglar she was, didn't have a hard time at all noiselessly climbing the rigging to land on the small corner of deck by the door at the back of the ship, between some masts. She knocked quietly on the back door, and sat down on the railing to wait.

She started brooding over how power could corrupt. She was so sick of the two sided nature of those she was in negotiations with. They said all the right things, about providing more services to the people and making life easier and safer for the masses, but when she'd stepped out to ostensibly freshen her lipstick, she'd snuck back to overhear what they said. What she heard made her sick.

Sanji and the rest of her friends wondered why she stuck with her demanding, overbearing publisher. It was because they were greedy, and also because the owners believed that poor people would buy many, many more maps than rich people. She liked the money as much as the next person (heck, she probably liked it more than most people), but what she absolutely craved was stability and safety. She didn't want any more people to lose their loved ones because they were stranded on islands, at the mercy of the pirates who preyed on them.

"Oh ho, who is this now," Nami's stomach dropped when the trilling voice came from the crack in the door. There were very few people Sanji trusted to open this door, and there was only one woman. She braced herself.

"Hello Pudding-san," Nami forced a smile. They'd gotten through that Whole Cake Island business a while back, and Pudding, having defied her family, was homeless, and an excellent baker. Sanji had given her a job when she'd come looking, and Nami hadn't felt like she had the right to object if he was okay with it. Still, they never really became friends. Nami had tried, but Pudding had been unpleasant or fake with her, and there was only so much a girl was willing to try. Still, she was one of Sanji's trusted lieutenants in the restaurant.

"Oh my, my, isn't it the proud Nami-san? Why are you crawling around the back like a common cat burgler?" Pudding smirked at her, 

Nami felt her temple throb at the reference to her old nickname and occupation. This was the reason she never got along with the woman. She was genuinely a very nice person, and Nami had always thought of her as such after she helped them escape from Whole Cake Island, but for some reason, she always brought out the "tsun" side of Pudding's personality, not the "dere" or even just the normal side.

"I've just had a long day and I don't feel up to the noise of the dining room. It's a pretty nice view up here, even if it is a little cold," Nami forced herself to reply lightly.

"I understand, I understand," Pudding nodded sagely, "You've had a very long day seducing men, and now you've come to bum a free meal since you're broke. Of course. I'm sure we have some scraps or something."

Nami tried to be polite, but she was hungry. "Is there any soup?"

"What, Nami-san, you know beggars can't be choosers," There was an unholy gleam in that woman's third eye, despite the innocent smile on her face. Right then and there, Nami weighed her options. She could cause a scene, but she doubted anyone but the kitchen staff could here, and odds are they all didn't know who she was or felt the same way about her. Besides, if Pudding was being this rude to her, she must have Sanji's permission, or even his instructions. Every one who knew about this backdoor also knew that it was worth their job to turn someone away. She could deck the bitch, but she didn't think Sanji would appreciate her taking out his pastry chef in the middle of the dinner rush. So she took option C, and decided she just didn't need to deal with this, after the day she had. She could grab something somewhere else.

"You know what, I'm just going to go somewhere else so I don't miss my ride," Nami got off the railing and forced a smile. "It really has been a long day. Say Hello to Sanji for me." Lightly, she jumped off the side of the boat and ran down the rigging

Pudding watched her silhouette disappear in the distance, trailed by that mane of orange hair. Good riddance. What had that woman ever done but take advantage of Sanji-kun? He'd worried himself sick over her, over the past three weeks, since she hadn't shown up for a reservation. The nerve of her. Saying she was tired from scamming other men out of their money, all while poor Sanji-kun was breaking his heart over her here. In Pudding's opinion, Sanji was better off without such a calculating maneater in his life. The sooner she disappeared and he forgot about her, the better. Then maybe he'd finally see that Pudding had been here for him, supporting him, all along.

"Pudding-chan?" The object of Pudding's fantasies started her out of them when he stopped in front of her station. He tipped an adorably bearded chin to the oven, "I think your cakes might start to burn soon, and that would be a pity. They smell wonderful."

She started guilty, and hastily turned to open the oven door. "Sorry Sanji-kun, I was just dealing with the back door."

"Oh? Did you end up offering them something to eat?"

"Yes, but they didn't want anything we had handy."

"Ah, that's too bad. Who was it?"

If Sanji had been sitting in the oven, looking at Pudding's face and her third eye, he might've had some serious misgivings. Instead, he just heard her cheerily chirp out , "No one important, some small-time thief looking for a quick meal. Neh Sanji-kun, pass me those tickets so I can finish frosting these cakes, okay?"

* * *

_Handed to Nami from Nojiko, scrawled on the back of a Bell-mere's Tangerine's Flyer_

Nami-san,

I hope this note finds you well! I haven't heard from you in months, and it's making me feel quite lonely. Most of my letters have come back as return to sender, so I hope you're okay and not in too many dangerous situations. Nojiko says she sees you every few months, so I'm leaving you a token of my love here.

Please come back to have dinner, soon, okay? Now that Nojiko and I have have a supplier's agreement, I have a special orange sauce duck made with your mother's oranges waiting for you. It'll taste just like the ones we had on the ship, I promise.

Love,

Sanji

* * *

"Nami!" Nami looked around for where her name was coming from in the middle of this oasis of luxury, only to spot Robin waving at her. She'd somehow managed to score a private plush little booth, tucked away in the corner.

"Robin-chan!" Nami waved at her, and walked over to her, "It's so good to see you again! You look fantastic."

"You look a little worn down, Nami-san. Is everything okay?" Robin studied the younger woman as she slipped into the booth across from her.

"Mm, it's just the book project. I've settled on the North Blue for the next project, and the Publisher wants it done yesterday." Nami smiled, but it didn't reach her eyes. 

“I see,” Robin noticed that the younger woman was staring at her menu with a single minded focus that the high-end seafood menu, while exclusive and delicious probably didn’t deserve. Then again, they had been spoiled by years of eating Sanji’s cooking on the Thousand Sunny. Speaking of which…

“Have you decided what you’re going to eat?” she asked, “My treat today?”

“No, it’s okay! I asked you after all. And besides, my theory is working out for me, so I should be treating you,” Nami smiled at her

“Ah, right,” Robin had been there when Nami had started expounding on her theory. They’d been sitting in the galley, getting ready to say goodbye. Nami had gotten so passionate about it - but then again, that was always what she’d admired about the younger girl. For things she believed in, she was always open and expressive about it.

They placed their order with the smiling waiter who came over. Robin had a Lobster Thermidor, and Nami ordered a grilled seabass on a bed of kelp with a lemon sauce, and they got half a bottle to split. Nami returned to her usual self, smiling and flirting with the waiter, charming him so that Robin knew that their food would come quickly. Some things never changed.

“Well, I suppose I shouldn’t feel so bad about allowing you to treat me. If you’re going to be working in the North Blue, next, you’ll get to eat at Sanji’s fairly regularly.”

“Ah, I guess,” Nami brushed her hair behind her ear. Robin noticed the nervous tick.

“Speaking of which, have you been there recently? He’s doing very well for himself. It’s been very busy since that article.” Robin asked casually while sipping her wine, even though she knew the answer.

“Actually, I haven’t,” Nami smiled, “I just haven’t had the time, and you know, we ate Sanji’s cooking for so long that I got tired of it.”

“Ara, I suppose that’s true,” Robin took a longer drink to give the girl time to compose her next lie. “Then again, Sanji-kun was always the best at figuring out what we liked and adjusting it to our tastes. I felt so spoiled, once we reached the real world and we no longer had a personal chef.”

“Mmm,” Nami only said. She changed the subject, and Robin had seen her unhappy enough to let it go, “Have you heard from any of the others recently?”

“Zoro, Brooks, Laboon and Luffy are off somewhere, wherever Dragon-san decides his son needs to cause an uproar next.”

“Dragon-san decides,” Nami snorted, regaining some of her old animation, “Don’t you mean you decide?” As the shadow strategian of the Revolutionary army, Robin had more than a passing say in where their most important forces went next.

“Well, more Sabo. He and Luffy have been spending more time together. Koala-chan’s a bit annoyed by it, but she understands. Sometimes I drop a hint somewhere, though, just so Koala and Sabo can make up.”

“Haha, sounds like fun.”

“Well, anyways, Brook and Laboon are off somewhere touring right now. Chopper, Franky, and Usopp are doing well together in the workshop. Kaya’s moved out to apprentice under Chopper. She looks amazing, the pregnancy suits her well.”

“Kaya’s pregnant?!” Nami’s fork clattered on the table as she surged out of her chair in excitement.

Robin blinked, “Arara, didn’t you get the invite? They’re hosting a baby shower at Sanji-kun’s restaurant once she’s further along.”

Nami seemed to wilt a bit, “Ah, I wonder if my invite just got lost.”

“I think they left the invites with Sanji-kun. We all usually pass through there once every couple of months or so.” Robin raised an eyebrow at her, noticing even though the young woman looked so thin and the food was so good, Nami had only taken a few bites.

“I see,” Nami forced a smile. “Well, I guess it’ll be good to get the whole gang together again.”

Robin smiled, "Yes, it's going to be the whole gang, and everyone who's supported Usopp and Luffy are coming out to pay their respects. If Sanji wasn't able to host, we'd never find a place to hold us all. Has work been keeping you too busy to even stop by the back door?"

Nami smiled bitterly, remembering her last encounter at the back door, "I didn't get anything to eat the last couple of times I stopped by since Sanji was too busy to see me. Then I realized I was being too presumptuous. He's not our crew's chef any more, why would he always have time for me?"

Robin raised an eyebrow. The Sanji she knew would not only always make time and feed old friends, but also would always be Nami's personal chef, even if God himself was . Curiouser and curiouser. It would explain a few things though.

"Well then," Robin smiled and tactfully changed the topic. She noticed that that Nami looked relieved, but still a little sad. "How's your sister been? You saw her last month, right? I'll have to come along and meet her someday."

* * *

_Delivered by Den-Den Mushi telegraph to the offices of her publisher_

Nami-san, are you okay? I haven’t seen you in nearly 9 months, and you haven’t answered any of my mails! Please write back to let us know if you’re okay!

_Delivered by Den-Den Mushi telegraph, to the All-Blue Floating restaurant in the West Blue_

I'm fine. Please stop looking for me, it's troublesome. - Nami

* * *

Robin tried to give the younger woman her privacy as she nervously checked her hair another time in her compact mirror, but secretly in her heart, Robin was worried about her. Nami was never this self-conscious. Especially not around Sanji of all people.

The flying fish boat that was carrying them bumped to a stop right in front of the merriment on the deck of the Lovely Heart Floating Restaurant. Robin could already see all of their old crewmates milling around in the crowd, as well as Usopp's father and Shank's crew, and many familiar faces from their travels. Robin noticed that Nami seemed to relax a bit more when she saw the crowd.

"Shall we?" Robin gestured to the deck, and was surprised when Nami nodded but waited for her to get out first. 

"NAMI - SWANNNNNN! ROBIN-CHWAAAAAN!" Sanji came pirouetting out of the crowd towards them, little hearts flying everywhere. Robin smiled to herself; at least it looked like nothing was wrong with Sanji. She took the eagerly proffered hand to help her off the flying fish boat, and let the goofy cook kiss her hand lavishly.

Nami, on the other hand, didn't wait for Sanji's assistance. She awkwardly clambered out herself, making as if to duck into the biggest group around the expectant parents in the room to camouflage herself. While Robin knew Sanji's practiced poise didn't falter a bit, she could see how he tensed as Nami retreated, and she could see the hurt flash over his face.

Well, well, well. So Nami was avoiding their own love-cook. Now this was interesting.

Smiling, Robin tucked her hand into the crook of his arm and steered him more slowly towards the group around the glowing Kaya and Usopp.

"Hey Robin!" Franky the Cyborg called to her, "It's SUUUUUUUUPER to see you again! You're looking SUUUUUUUUPER!" He struck his signature star pose.

Robin laughed, "it's super to see you again too, Franky. You look... cool." She eyed the two satellite dish shoulders, the rocket boot feet, and other sundry mecha additions Franky had made since the last time she'd seen him.

"DOESN'T HE?!" Chopper, Luffy and two other pirates that Robin only vaguely recognized as the former yonko, Red-Haired Shanks, and an older man with a very familiar nose all cried out together. The four of them were hanging on to Franky's appendages, apparently enjoying being flung around like sacks of flour.

"Geez, Dad, can you stop embarrassing me?" Usopp scowled at the old man with his nose. Kaya, looking positively radiant, a bit queasy, and voluptuously pregnant, only laughed, then winced and rubbed her stomach.

"Kaya-san, it's nice to meet you at last. Usopp has told us so much about you," Robin smiled at the young doctor as Usopp fussed over his wife.

"You as well, Ms Robin. Usopp and Chopper-sensei have both told me so much about you and the rest of your crew. Thank you for taking care of my husband at sea," Kaya returned her smile.

"With such a lovely lady at home, of course we had to bring him back safe and soundly," Sanji bowed elegantly over her hand. "He's a lucky man."

"Knock it off, Sanji!" Usopp scratched his head, embarrassed.

"You never change, you perverted chef," Zoro snorted. 

Sanji immediately bristled. "What did you say, you shitty mosshead?"

Kaya started to say something when the two former Strawhats started yelling at each other, until she noticed none of their other friends looked the least bit concerned. Usopp saw her try to get up and only smiled as he wrapped a protective arm around her. Robin only laughed. Those two never changed.

"Yohohohohoho!" A familiar laugh rang out across the scene. Robin saw some conversations stop, and some jaws dropped as a courtly and familiar skeletal figure appeared riding a large whale.

"Hello my comrades! Aren't you a sight for sore eyes!" Brook paused, "If I had eyes to see with!"

Robin distinctly heard some faint gasps of "Oh, Soul King!" but the other Straw hats just stared at him. Brook was unphased by the reception - clearly, he was used to it. Robin smiled up at the large whale who was carrying him and an entire entourage of long armed tour managers.

"Hey Laboon!" Luffy called out, getting distracted from the gloriousness that was Mecha-Franky to wave at the giant Whale. Laboon's one eye drifted by them, and he seemed to smile when he saw the straw hats again.

"Brook! Laboon!" Nami called, moving towards the big whale and her old crewmate.

"Ah! Nami-san, you look as lovely as always!" Brook saw her as well and alighted from the back of the whale. "It's been so long, so I must indeed ask - may I please see your pant-EEEEEEEE!"

The strawhats and their friends who had known Brook as a pirate started laughing as Nami didn't even wait for him to finish his sentence, but smacked him with her ever present climatact into the sea. The Soul King's legions of fans were less pleased about the move, though

"Oh, Nami, did you get an upgrade to your climatact?" Usopp asked.

"Yep! I met some interesting fellows up in the North Blue with a new tech. Here, take a look!"

Robin felt Sanji stiffen beside her. _I do indeed wonder what's wrong between the two of them._ She patted his arm, but didn't say anything.

"Someone should probably get Brook, since he can't swim." Zoro remarked to no one in particular. Sanji looked reluctant, Nami and Usopp were distracted, Franky was still entertaining the masses, and everyone knew that if they sent Zoro out, they'd probably end up losing both of them. Robin was just about to start looking for Jinbei, who was probably with his old crew, when a small voice piped up from Kaya's shoulder.

"Tonfattas, go! Look for the skeleton that can't swim! We cannot let anything overshadow this day of great celebration for our great God Usoland," Robin recognized the authoritative voice of the Queen, Mansherry.

"Yes Queen!" A crowd of small shapes went whizzing by into the horizon, and soon enough came back with a wet, sopping, but well dressed bag of bones, and a floating will-o-wisp that was Brook's soul. A large humanoid stag beetle came with them to help.

"That was close! Luckily Hercules-san was there to catch me. Nami-san, you almost made my heart pop out of my chest... if I had a heart!" Brook's ghost laughed "Yohohohoho!"

"Imagine how surprised I am. I'm going to celebrate my old student's baby, and instead end up finding a corpse flying towards me!" Hercules stepped onto the deck, leaving his stag beetle behind, and raised his arms to see Usopp again. "Usopp! Congratulations! Good to see you again, my favourite pupil!"

"Hercules-san! You came!" Usopp left his protective place beside his wife to greet his old teacher. "How have you been? How's the island?"

"I've been well! The island is as vibrant and full of life as ever. Everyone misses you, Usopp. You should come to visit some time."

"I'll try." Usopp promised, * "After the baby is born, and Kaya can travel again. We'll bring them along."

"Hey!" Usopp's father complained. "Come visit me first! It's my grandchild!"

"It's not a competition, Dad. Besides, you never visited me when I was growing up," Usopp snapped. Kaya looked torn and a little upset, so Robin was about to speak up to divert the situation, when a booming voice cut into it.

"Ah Usopp, even if you are a great warrior of the sea, you are still just a child," Broggy, King of the Giants of Elfbah chortled. "Today is not the day to reproach your father. Today is a day to celebrate your upcoming fatherhood! Let us rejoice! I hope that there's still some ale left so we may toast you!"

"There is always plenty of ale," Sanji got up and bowed to his newest guests, "Let me get you all some. My apologies for being so slow. Robin-chan, Nami-san, do either of you want something in particular?" He left when both Robin and Nami just shook their heads. Robin raised an eyebrow. Sanji had to ask what Nami wanted? There was really something wrong there. Robin made her way over to the younger woman.

"Nami,"Robin started in an undertone, coming up beside the younger woman, "what exactly is going on between you and Sanji-kun? Why are you avoiding him?"

"It's nothing. I'm not avoiding him," Nami denied it.

"Really?" She raised an eyebrow.

"Really. It's just a thing," Nami would not meet her eyes as she lied. Robin frowned at the younger woman. Robin was debating whether or not to press more, when someone elbowed her.

"Alright then. How's the North Blue mapping going? You look tired." Robin changed the topic of conversation.

"It's coming along, but it's more exhausting than the East Blue. Not from a physical perspective - my publishers are letting me take it at a bit easier pace this time, but my god, the politics!" Nami groaned putting her head in her hands.

"Oh?" Robin prompted.

As Nami started animatedly talking about the impact of having a centralized dictatorship for so long, compared to the relatively splintered East Blue, Robin noticed that the looks that Sanji cast towards them was getting more and more worried as Nami continued to ignore him, turning her back to him at every opportunity. She saw the look on his face get darker and darker, especially when the young woman paid attention to literally every other person besides the love-cook, who wasn't looking so loveydovey now.

"Eh, Big Sis Robin? * Big Sis Nami?" Both women stared blankly. Robin didn't recognize the fellow, but neither she nor Nami had heard his question.

"I'm sorry, I wasn't listening. What did you ask us?" Robin recovered and smiled politely.

"I think you all need to have children," The drunkard declared. "Imagine how amazing it would be! Your genes should be passed on to the next generation!"

"Doesn't this just make you want to have children?" He continued, more than a little drunkly gesturing to where Usopp was fussing over Kaya's belly for the millionth time. 

Usopp had his hand on the prominent curve, and was about to say something when something bumped it. Everyone saw him jump a few feet into the air in surprise, while Kaya winced. More little fists bumped out of her stomach.

"Aww he felt his baby! Innit just the miracle of women or something?" The drunk man talking to Robin and Nami hiccuped. Nami looked on in exasperation, while Robin started to feel the urge to laugh.

"It's very miraculous, but I'm not ready to have a child yet," Robin smiled diplomatically.

"It's none of your business, Yosaku," Nami snapped loudly. Everyone went quiet.

"Eh? Whadd'd I say?" The drunk ex bounty hunter looked up at her blearily. "Don't all women want to have kids?"

"She'd have to let a man get close first." Robin heard someone mutter, and saw Nami turn bright red with embarrassment. Nami turned to whoever had been so rude, ready to give them a piece of her mind, when she really did drop her jaw in astonishment when she saw who it was. Sanji-kun? The lovestruck cook had never so much as ignored her before, only to be so rude to her now.

An awkward silence took over the space until Robin decided that this just couldn't go on any more. "Yosaku, it's not good to imply that a woman might be getting older. It's quite rude. So rude, it'd be grounds for being drowned and thrown overboard in certain crews, neh?"

"Waaaaaaaah Big sis Robin!" Yosaku saw that menacing glint in her eyes and instantly sobered up. Everyone normally just considered this older sister a kind and wise lady, but every once and while they were reminded that she had once been an assassin and one of the Marine's most wanted. "Please forgive me! I didn't mean anything! I was just drunk!"

"I'll forgive you just this once if you go show Nami-chan where the food is," Robin pushed Nami forward to get her out of the awkward conversation, but she also said the next words loudly enough so that Sanji would overhear. "She's been working so hard mapping the North Blue that she's hardly had a good meal in so many months. She didn't even get one the last time she was at this restaurant, she's been so busy. Go feed her so she looks less pale."

"Aye aye!" Yosaku scrambled to obey, fawning over Nami.

Only Robin saw the look of pure anguish that flashed over Sanji's face when he heard her words. _Serves him right,_ she thought callously, but then her heart softened at how tormented he looked at the thought that Nami hadn't eaten properly in months. _Oh well, I'll give him a chance to make it right. At least this way Nami might actually eat a full meal._

* * *

"She did what?!" Nami's screech made all the servers and waiters who had been left with the task of cleaning up after the big party jump. They all heard her, even though she was standing near the side door. She'd been chatting with Vivi about how the more accurate maps had impacted the daily lives of Alabastan citizens. She was so wrapped up in the conversation, she hadn't noticed until the Princess had finally been forcibly dragged off by Karoo that none of her old crew mates (bar the one she didn't want to talk to) were still there.

Not even that Robin! Argh! She was supposed to be her ride for tonight! Now how was she supposed to get back to her temporary lodgings? Nami fumed for a few minutes before sighing. Robin had probably just heard something about another ponyglyph being found and had forgotten to inform her in her excitement. She'd make the archaeologist treat her to dinner next time they met up for an apology.

"Nami-san?" The voice made Nami stiffen. Dammit and she was doing so well at avoiding him.

"Sanji-kun," She tried to smile.

"Robin-chan asked me to give you this note," He handed her a small scrap of paper. Nami took it, recognizing Robin's distinctive scholarly hand.

_Make up with him so you can finally eat properly again. You're too thin. I've made sure no one else will give you a ride besides him._

She snorted, furious with the note. She then asked thoughtlessly, "Do you have a Den-Den Mushi? I need to give her a response.

"So you'll respond to her but not me," his back was to her, but she heard his words clearly. 

Instantly, Nami's temper flared up. "Are you my big brother or something? I don't owe you anything!"

"I was worried about you, Nami-san. I care about you. You're my friend," Sanji turned back around to look at her as he enunciated every word carefully, like he was talking to a toddler. Her back bristled even more, and her heart throbbed when he made what he thought of her clear.

"I thought you'd be too busy with your women and their love letters to notice my little ol' notes from a _Friend_ , Mr. Playboy of the Sea," Nami shot back sarcastically. She saw that her targets had hit their marks though, when he flinched at her accusations and then the nickname the press had given him, and her heart took a small pleasure in his hurt.

She sighed. What was she doing? "I'm sorry, Sanji-kun. I have no right to talk to you like that." She rubbed a hand over her face, exhausted.

She didn't notice the even darker look on his face, nor did she notice how he slowly moved towards her, like a predator stalking its prey.

"Talk to me like what?" Sanji nearly purred. Nami nearly jumped when she realized how close he was. She felt a little cornered between the wall and railing of the back deck. It made her realize just how much stronger and more imposing he'd gotten over the years.

"L-like I'm a jealous girlfriend or something. It doesn't matter to me how many women you entertain at your restaurant," Nami muttered, not looking at him. She didn't see the look of frustration that flashed across his face, but she did feel him back off a little.

"Why'd you miss your last reservation? What did Robin mean that you didn't get a decent meal the last time you were here?” He grew more frustrated when he realized she wasn’t going to answer him truthfully. Nami cursed herself for being abnormally slow to lie today.

“Did you use the side door? Why didn’t you let someone get me? I would’ve made time for you-”

“It’s not like that, I just didn’t want to bother you-” Nami tried to brush it off, but he knew she was lying and he got truly angry.

“Nami-san. You know me better than that. Tell me what happened.” Sanji ordered her sternly. When she still hesitated, he snapped, “This isn’t about you, Nami. You know my golden rule.”

Never let anyone leave hungry.

She did know his golden rule. It was his pride as a chef.

She sighed and gave up hiding it, “I’m sure it was a mistake. Last time I did make my reservation, but it was right after that article was published and you were swamped by the lookieloos. I just… sat with someone unpleasant. Your Maitre d’ must not have taken my name off the reservations and I didn’t stay long enough to order anything. It’s fine, I shouldn't have let it get to me, but I was just tired and I didn’t want to put up with it.”

Sanji’s eyes narrowed. “Was it Conrad? Your Maitre d’.” 

Nami vehemently shook her head and scowled at him when she realized he’d find out anyways, “Don’t you dare punish that boy for what other people said. He couldn’t know.”

“Reading the guests is the first job of Maitre d’s, but fine, I’ll let him go since you insist Nami-san.” Sanji let the subject go, because he knew there was a bigger prize here, but he was going to talk to that boy about proper record keeping, “And the last time you were at the back deck?”

Nami hesitated one last time. Would he believe her? What if she-

“Nami-san,” Sanji growled. he was hanging on to his patience by his fingertips. “Give me the name. ”

“It was Pudding.” Sanji didn’t know exactly how sore a point it was to her that his ex-fiancee worked with him, and she’d die of shame before she gave it away. As she said before, she didn’t have the right to play jealous girlfriend.

“What? Pudding?” Sanji looked at her in disbelief, and Nami felt her defensiveness rise. That was why she didn’t want to say anything.

“Yes, little miss Yonko’s daughter told me you just had kitchen scraps. I know you better than that, Sanji, but I just-”

“She said what?!” A fire of anger started to smolder in his eyes. “Was it the Tuesday three weeks before I left you the letter at your sisters’?”

"Y-yes, but-”

“Stay here.” Sanji got ready to push off the deck and sky walk back into the main restaurant, where his crew were still cleaning.

“W-wait, Sanji-kun. I have to get going.” Nami protested, but Sanji glared at her.

“Don’t you dare run away from us again, Nami-san,” he growled at her, eyes burning a hole through her soul, “or I will chase after you. and when I catch you, I will spank you myself.” 

Leaving a speechless Nami behind, he jumped.

Nami could only gape as he leapt over the edge of the railing onto the wide deck below in the midst of his staff, who looked up when he bellowed loudly for Pudding. She watched a crowd appeared on the deck, and eventually a head with two curly pigtails. It was fascinating to watch the flow of people. She watched the crowd draw away from the two pigtails as Sanji’s voice lowered to an inaudible but terrifying low. She had expected someone to speak up for the pastry chef, but the crowd seem to form a wall to prevent her from infecting their precious kitchen with whatever crime Sanji was firing her over. 

Eventually, she saw his head turn towards two of the female servers, who left the crowd briefly, only to come back a few minutes later with two hastily packed suitcases. Things moved fast. In a twinkling, she saw someone lead the curly pigtails onto a small motorboat that had turned up, the crowd closing in behind her as she left. 

Just like that, Pudding was gone.

 _How cruel,_ Nami sighed to herself, then kicked herself for missing the chance to steal one of the motorboats and leave herself. She snapped out of whatever had kept her there watching the scene. Just as she threw a leg over the railing to climb down to the ocean, though, something startled her.

“Are you asking for that spanking, Nami-san?” Sanji was standing there on the open air before the balcony. She gasped in surprise and fell backwards back onto the little deck, startled. His control had gotten better. He could stand now, instead of just walking on air.

“S-Sanji!” She stuttered.

“Nami-san,” Elegantly, he jumped the railing and squatted down beside her on the deck. “So you’re not asking for it?”

“Hmph,” She blushed, refusing to meet his eyes. A moment passed in silence. “You didn’t have to fire her, you know.” She said quietly and awkwardly.

“Yes I did,” Sanji responded just as quietly, “No one leaves hungry. That’s our rule. I don’t know why she hates you so much, but she still shouldn’t’ve have let you leave hungry. Just because you’re my old crew mate, I’m more likely to find out, but I’d’ve fired her if she turned away even a bastard like Caeser.”

“Same old Sanji,” She smiled at him, “I’ve always loved that about you.”

Oh shit.

She realized what had come out of her mouth just as his hands reached out to cup her face. She blushed, mortified, and refused to look at him. His hands felt soothing cool against her cheeks, which felt like they were on fire.

“I’ve always liked that about you,” She tried to correct herself, but she felt his fingers tighten against her chin before they fell away.

“Running away again, Nami-san?” his tone was so bitter, her head inadvertently snapped back to look at him in astonishment.

What was he so upset about? As much as he routinely professed his love, they both knew he was just kidding, being his silly self. Wasn't she just a friend? “What is there for me to run away from?” Nami challenged him. 

Sanji stared at her for a long moment, then rubbed a hand over his eyes.

“Nothing, Nami-san. Absolutely nothing, except for the fact that I’ve been in love with you since the day you stepped onto the Baratie!” Sanji’s voice rose until he was yelling the last half of his sentence into open air. Some of the birds nearby flew away.

Nami stared at him in disbelief. Sanji was serious. And he was furious.

He really loved her?

“I-I…” She started, but he cut her off.

“I was happy enough just to be with you and be your crewmate, but now that you’re conscious of me, you just run away and it hurts.” He calmed down enough that he was no longer shouting and turned away from her again.

That finally made something snap inside her. She couldn't pretend she wasn't aware of this red string of destiny tied between them any more. It'd always been there. Behind the cheesy flirting and the dorky fawning, behind all that they'd gone together as members of the Pirate King's crew, behind all the fights and parties and laughs and escapes and successes and failures, it was there. Every time he flirted with her in an over the top way, it tugged at her. Every time he left out her favourite treats, it warmed her. And every time he flirted with another woman, she had to ignore how much it hurt her

“I’m being realistic, Sanji!” Nami finally snapped, doing some yelling of her own, “I’m a roamer! I’m still travelling! There’s more for me to see, more for me to eat and shop and experience, and more for me to map! I still dream of finishing the world Map, okay? I’m the only one out of us who hasn’t achieved their dream yet, and I still want to! But you! You’ve seen the All Blue. We were there with you! And I was so, so happy for you. But now you have a business. You have responsibilities, employees, regulars, and it’s tethered here in the North Blue. You can’t just up and leave them because I want you to come with me!”

“You’ve never given me a reason to think I would be welcome,” Sanji responded. He stood just out of her reach, with his arms crossed. “I have a floating restaurant. I can feed people just as well in the South Blue and the New world as I can here.” His sincere eyes bore into her again, “So Nami-san, can I come?”

Nami sighed and got up to lean against the railing again, “I don’t think I could handle being your lover, Sanji-kun. You deserve better.” The little worm that had been growing on her heart ever since Viola accused her of taking advantage of Sanji had finally come out in the sunlight.

“I can judge that for myself, Nami-san.” He didn’t touch her, but she felt his presence next to her like a warm hug.

“I wouldn’t be able to handle the jealousy,” She admitted.

“If you were mine, Nami-san, you know I would stop with all that flirting, and-”

She waved his words away, “Your flirting would scare more girls off. You’re… ,“ she hesitated, “You’re kind, Sanji-kun. You’re always considerate and thoughtful, and you make every girl feel like she’s the center of your world without any other expectations. Women can’t help but fall in love with you.” She bumped him playfully with her shoulder.

That made him pause, baffled. “I can’t stop being kind, Nami-san.”

“I know, and I wouldn’t want you to,” She sighed, resting her elbow against the rail and propping her chin on her hand. “I just… I need some time to grow up and… learn how not to be jealous,” She reached over with her other hand, and gently touched his cheek with her knuckle. “It’s not fair to ask for you to wait while I do.”

Sanji caught her hand against his cheek and dropped a kiss on her palm. In embarrassment, she tried to pull her hand back, but he held on. “It’ll take me some time to put together a restaurant crew that’s willing to move. I need to make sure I find guys who are strong enough. You can have until then. After that, I’m coming after you.”

“Oh yeah?” She raised an eyebrow at him, “What are you going to do when you catch me, spank me?”

In a flash, Nami was in Sanji’s arms. The hand he held captive was held to his heart, while his other hand pressed the small of her back, holding her to him. She could feel his breath on her ear, could hear his heart pounding under her fingers. Sanji let go of her hand to cup her chin and coax her blushing face up to look at him. The burning desire in his eyes made her gasp a little.

_Too close, too close, too close!_

She only had a moment to think when his lips came down hard on hers. He stole her breath, drinking her in like a desperate man in the desert. His lips caressed hers fiercely, his teeth nipped at her lower lip, his tongue plundered hers greedily. Nami felt like she was overheating, drowning, being struck with lightning with each touch. Her brain short circuited, to focus on the pleasure he was lavishing on her and demanding in equal parts. 

This felt like heaven and hell and everything she’d ever wanted and dreamed of in the darkest hours of the night, all alone in her bed. Her fingers bunched into his shirt and she began to give as good as she was getting. Her lips met his in a rhythm as old as time, her tongue tangled with his, and she nipped his upper lip in retaliation when he wouldn’t let hers go. Their breathing had synced, like they were one person and not two.

Her response only seem to enflame Sanji more, to where he crushed her to him. They continued to devour each other, kiss after kiss, lightning shock after lightning shock, until Nami had to admit defeat and that she needed to breathe. 

She pushed at his chest. Ever the gentleman, Sanji released her lips, albeit it with some reluctance, but he refused to let her go, still holding her to him. He leaned his forehead onto hers as they both caught their breath. 

Was his eyes always so luminous? Nami couldn’t break away from his intense gaze, and her lips felt tender and sensitive from the unfamiliar exercise, and even warmer than the rest of her bright red face. She probably didn’t have any lipstick left. _Gosh, this guy…. Didn’t he know any restraint?_

His hoarse voice and the promise he made to her sent shivers down her spine as he whispered in her ear, “That’s what I’m going to do to you, Nami.” 

* * *

And they’re off, darlings! The Heartbreak Restaurant has lifted off to new adventures! We in the North Blue may feel especially chagrined, but I imagine many, especially the ladies in the other Blues and the New World, are very excited. Those ladies may be disappointed, though, because this intrepid and now heartbroken reporter has the latest scoop. Don’t go looking for the Handsome Playboy of the Sea - he’s married! We hope our readers will join us in staunching our tears and wishing the happy couple all the best!.


End file.
